Visiting Hours

With one phone call, my entire life changed. I went from having not spent a single night in the hospital to have been there for what seemed to be an eternity.

Day 10

My dearest sister, I know that you won’t remember this. Times have been very scary. Nine days ago my entire life flashed before my eyes. All of the sirens and the flashing lights. Too much energy for me to even start comprehending what was going on.

After the call when they called me, I remember nothing. I heard three words: life or death. I didn’t need to know who it was about. You are the only person I’d get called for. The anxiety of not knowing if you would live or not drove me insane while I was driving towards you. Now that we are at the hospital, I am going stir crazy.

The doctors still don’t know if you are going to wake up. They put you into a medically induced coma so your body could have time to heal. I’m terrified that you won’t wake up. Without you, there’s no purpose for my life. I swore to our parents I would protect you. How could I have let this happen then?

I’m the worst brother there ever was!

Day 11

I had to call Mom and Dad. They are freaking out now. Furious I didn’t call them earlier, but I couldn’t. What was I supposed to tell them? We know nothing yet. Sis, I need you. There is so much more that I want to say. However, the words that I am writing in this journal are going to mean nothing if you don’t wake up.

They want to fly back as soon as possible. I told them I would keep them updated on your progress. They shouldn’t have to be worried while they are on vacation. A month! That’s all I had to watch you for. Teaching you how to drive, trying to help you get your license. All these memories flood my thoughts as I don’t know what to do. I feel like it’s all my fault.

I love you. Please wake up.

Day 21

You are still in a coma. I’m still writing in this stupid journal. No matter how much I pace and curse this hospital, nothing is bringing you back faster. The doctors are giving us hope stating that your vitals aren’t dropping the way that they were when you were first brought in.

The first week was terrifying. Once a day they were bringing in the crash cart trying to restart your heart. Hearing all of the shrills of the machines drove me crazy. Every time they went off, I’d imagine that I lost you forever. You haven’t even gotten the chance to live your life. I want you to not think about anything. I will always be here for you.

Day 23

Today is my lucky day. Your eyes fluttered open. It’s been the first time in the last three weeks that I have seen those crystal clear blue eyes of yours. After all this time I was starting to wonder if you’d given up. You are too much of a fighter. Don’t think that you could give up even if you were paid to do so.

This is the best blessing I’ve heard in a long time. Seeing the glimmer of hope today, I understand why I’ve been writing in this journal the way I have been. There’s no telling how much, if anything, you are going to remember.

I’ll call the parentals later today letting them know the update. They should be back in a matter of a few days. This will make their day better. I just hope they won’t try to come back early. You still need your rest.

The doctor walks into the room with a smile on his face. His face is sunken in with an ashen tone. Think this doctor needs to get more vitamin d before he starts preaching to any patient about what they need.

“What’s the prognosis, Doc? Is my sister going to be okay? I saw her eyes flutter, I swear. That’s not something I would make up!”

“Son, I’m not saying you are making it up. The prognosis is looking better. The endless hours you spent sitting beside her bed, reading and talking to her could’ve made all the difference. There were some scares where I wasn’t sure what to tell you. I didn’t want to get your hopes up and something happen and the world crash around you.”

“I appreciate the notion. However, I need to know about my sister. When are you taking some of these tubes out of her?”

“It all depends on if she will be able to breathe on her own. There will still be an oxygen mask close to her at all times though. We can’t have her lapse back or it could cause her heart to fail and her brain to deteriorate. So far, I can’t tell you how her memory will be. The first thing we are going to try is to see if we can get her communicating with us through blinking.”

I walk away from the doctor. Taking time away from this hospital might do me some good. Gathering my thoughts, I head out of the courtyard to get some fresh air. Inhaling deeply the aromas intoxicate me. The fresh cut grass, meat being bbq’d, the scent of rain in the air.

A few days later, I walk into the room and see my sister sitting up in her bed. In her hands is the journal that I spent so much time this month writing in.

“Brother, what all happened? I see the words you wrote to me, but I know nothing about what actually came about. Can you tell me everything?”

“Right now is not the time to go into all the nasty details. I just want to spend the day with you. Think your doctor will let you take a ride out to the courtyard?”

“My doctor already gave me permission, if I think I can handle it myself.”

“You know I won’t let you do too much. I have to take care of you. Mom and Dad would kill me if I let anything else happen to you.”

“Don’t joke like that. Please? I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you. The doctors told me about everything and how you spent so much time sitting beside this bed.”

“I had to do what was right by you. I feel like I put you in all this danger.”

***

Before the end of the year, the tables had turned. Now I sit here watching my brother the way he watched me a few months earlier. The prognosis was much more grim for him though. He’d been going through many different bouts with alcohol poisoning.

Picking up a pen, I look at the leather spine of the journal. My fingers brush against it and I look around the bare room. My heart pounds as I know this could be one of the last entries ever written into this journal.

Day 1

Brother of mine, why would you put yourself in a situation like this? How am I supposed to handle this? I don’t know how you did it not knowing that I might not come back. Part of me might never be the same, ever again…

You’ve been in and out of the hospital for a while now. Did some digging on you and I learn that you’d been in and out of the hospital for the last few years? Just going through each day, I look around and miss you more each day.

I might not ever get to say it again, so I am going to write it out as much as I can. I love you. Forever. There’s nothing more that I could do besides telling you that. Mom and Dad are staying in town and they are going to be living in this hospital. They are doing everything they can. There’s only so much they can do though. Within these walls, they are going crazy.

Goodbye, my dear brother.

The gun clicks and the next thing that happens is loud and the commotion begins as I fade off and into the light.